Karjopcar is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, deceitful tortoise.

Karjopcar created the solar system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Karjopcar, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Karjopcar, he will turn you into a hamster.

Karjopcar's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Karjopcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Never paint your hands white.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

5. Hide if six pigs approach from the east.