Gatbamlun is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, fussy gnu.

Gatbamlun created a charm quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatbamlun, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gatbamlun, it will be mildly annoyed.

Gatbamlun's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gatbamlun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Gatbamlun loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

3. Great tits are not to be trusted.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never wear jumpers.