Bonkzangam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, impressive fly.

Bonkzangam created energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkzangam, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bonkzangam, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bonkzangam's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Bonkzangam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Never sing near gulls.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Bonkzangam on top of all buildings.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.