Lopvanrutt Arnbonkdud is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unsympathetic troll.

Lopvanrutt Arnbonkdud created Asia nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lopvanrutt Arnbonkdud, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Lopvanrutt Arnbonkdud, he will be mildly annoyed.

Lopvanrutt Arnbonkdud's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Lopvanrutt Arnbonkdud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.