Toffigtam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, dishonest skunk.

Toffigtam created Mount Everest two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Toffigtam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Toffigtam, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Toffigtam's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Toffigtam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not wear brown clothing.

3. Do not hurt voles.

4. Shrews are not to be trusted.

5. Do not kill turtles.