Neltargquill is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, self-assured jellyfish.

Neltargquill created oxygen five million years ago.

If you believe in Neltargquill, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Neltargquill, she will turn you into a dog.

Neltargquill's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Neltargquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not shave your legs.