Dossbanquart Janrutbop is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, irritating cat.

Dossbanquart Janrutbop created the solar system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dossbanquart Janrutbop, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dossbanquart Janrutbop, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Dossbanquart Janrutbop's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Dossbanquart Janrutbop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill aardvarks.

2. Hide if four rats approach from the south.

3. Always help birds.

4. Run away if six ants approach from the north.

5. Always help geese in need.