Govbedbad is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, idiotic tapir.

Govbedbad created dark matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Govbedbad, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Govbedbad, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Govbedbad's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Govbedbad's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Govbedbad loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

4. Always look after injured doves.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.