Wipfetzog is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, sapient eagle.

Wipfetzog created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wipfetzog, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wipfetzog, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Wipfetzog's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Wipfetzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Wipfetzog on top of all buildings.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Do not cook food in pots.