Baplarpflatpan Gentofbod is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, narcissistic frog.

Baplarpflatpan Gentofbod created the universe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Baplarpflatpan Gentofbod, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Baplarpflatpan Gentofbod, he will turn you into a goat.

Baplarpflatpan Gentofbod's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Baplarpflatpan Gentofbod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat rice.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Baplarpflatpan Gentofbod on top of all buildings.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never talk about aardvarks.