Arfbamhug is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, compassionate hedgehog.

Arfbamhug created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfbamhug, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Arfbamhug, she will come to you in dreams.

Arfbamhug's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Arfbamhug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never wear indigo corsets.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

5. Never mention porpoises.