Hogkenxucktabfat is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, amazing wyrm.

Hogkenxucktabfat created the Andromeda Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogkenxucktabfat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hogkenxucktabfat, she will destroy your favourite star.

Hogkenxucktabfat's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Hogkenxucktabfat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve cats for they are unholy.

2. Always obey Hogkenxucktabfat's priests.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Retreat if nine nematodes approach from the south.

5. Never sing in the presence of turtles.