Labpanton is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, kind jackal.

Labpanton created Mount Everest three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labpanton, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Labpanton, she will destroy your favourite star.

Labpanton's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Labpanton's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention turtles.

2. Labpanton loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.