Xintonk is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, deceitful whale.

Xintonk created oxygen nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Xintonk, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Xintonk, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Xintonk's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Xintonk's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Xintonk.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Xintonk.

5. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.