Tinhotjig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, cheerful sheep.

Tinhotjig created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinhotjig, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tinhotjig, it will turn you into a snail.

Tinhotjig's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Tinhotjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of birds.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Do not eat peanuts.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.