Ontdumtar is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, idiotic centipede.

Ontdumtar created the Black Eye Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ontdumtar, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ontdumtar, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ontdumtar's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Ontdumtar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.