Sandlatjan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unthoughtful jackal.

Sandlatjan created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandlatjan, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Sandlatjan, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Sandlatjan's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Sandlatjan's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

5. Never talk about sheep.