Hitmoncab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, strong hydra.

Hitmoncab created the planet Mars five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitmoncab, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hitmoncab, he will turn you into a puffin.

Hitmoncab's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Hitmoncab's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Feed all hungry whales.