Wapsinxem Faringtin is a god.
She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, vain crab.
Wapsinxem Faringtin created a photon three billion years ago.
If you believe in Wapsinxem Faringtin, she will grant you immortality.
If you do not believe in Wapsinxem Faringtin, she will turn you into a hamster.
Wapsinxem Faringtin's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.
Wapsinxem Faringtin's Holy Commandments
1. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.
2. You must pray to Wapsinxem Faringtin nine times a day.
3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wapsinxem Faringtin.
4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.
5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.