Wapsinxem Faringtin is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, vain crab.

Wapsinxem Faringtin created a photon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapsinxem Faringtin, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wapsinxem Faringtin, she will turn you into a hamster.

Wapsinxem Faringtin's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Wapsinxem Faringtin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

2. You must pray to Wapsinxem Faringtin nine times a day.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wapsinxem Faringtin.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.