Rigmutfen is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, all-knowing unicorn.

Rigmutfen created the world four years ago.

If you believe in Rigmutfen, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Rigmutfen, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Rigmutfen's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Rigmutfen's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never mention monkeys.