Vadpomnur is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, awe-inspiring narwhal.

Vadpomnur created viruses eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadpomnur, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vadpomnur, it will turn you into a hamster.

Vadpomnur's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Vadpomnur's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vadpomnur.

3. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

4. Never eat wheat.

5. Never write about amino acids.