Rigjopbom Cipspagzim is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, egotistical clam.

Rigjopbom Cipspagzim created the solar system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Rigjopbom Cipspagzim, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Rigjopbom Cipspagzim, he will not invite you to parties.

Rigjopbom Cipspagzim's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Rigjopbom Cipspagzim's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Run away if five snails approach from the east.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never talk about cell theory.