Safquafgun is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, awe-inspiring chinchilla.

Safquafgun created the planet Jupiter five million years ago.

If you believe in Safquafgun, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Safquafgun, she will turn you into a rat.

Safquafgun's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Safquafgun's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat oranges.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Safquafgun loves horses, so they must be respected.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.