Cimlinwot is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy wyrm.

Cimlinwot created the Whirlpool Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Cimlinwot, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cimlinwot, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Cimlinwot's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Cimlinwot's Holy Commandments

1. Cimlinwot loves geese, so they must be honoured.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never mention ants.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never paint your hands green.