Ranfarqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, humane human.

Ranfarqueeg created vertebrates three million years ago.

If you believe in Ranfarqueeg, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ranfarqueeg, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Ranfarqueeg's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Ranfarqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Do not hurt rats.