Kimkapkar is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, benevolent bird.

Kimkapkar created the Cigar Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimkapkar, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kimkapkar, it will not care.

Kimkapkar's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Kimkapkar's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Feed all hungry seals.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.