Kadstaffeb Quammipwip is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, staggering wyvern.

Kadstaffeb Quammipwip created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadstaffeb Quammipwip, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kadstaffeb Quammipwip, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kadstaffeb Quammipwip's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Kadstaffeb Quammipwip's Holy Commandments

1. Always help capybaras in need.

2. Never hurt cats.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Retreat if six sheep approach from the west.

5. Do not wear gold on your body.