Begfatfid is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, passionate fly.

Begfatfid created the Sol system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begfatfid, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Begfatfid, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Begfatfid's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Begfatfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Begfatfid on top of all buildings.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Hide from brown voles for they are unholy.