Vogfomtik is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, compassionate tortoise.

Vogfomtik created a charm quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vogfomtik, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vogfomtik, he will not care.

Vogfomtik's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Vogfomtik's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink snails for they are unholy.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not eat melons.

5. You must pray to Vogfomtik four times a day.