Gebsattik is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, fussy bird.

Gebsattik created the Milkyway three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebsattik, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gebsattik, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gebsattik's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Gebsattik's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not dye your hair brown.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not listen to music.