Zimpopken is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonourable octopus.

Zimpopken created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimpopken, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zimpopken, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Zimpopken's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Zimpopken's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.