Tadquartvag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, thoughtless zebra.

Tadquartvag created light five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tadquartvag, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tadquartvag, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Tadquartvag's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Tadquartvag's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tadquartvag.

2. Always look after injured porpoises.

3. Always treat badgers with great respect.

4. Never think ill of sick pigs.

5. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.