Yimpaslib is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, stupid hummingbird.

Yimpaslib created a strange quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yimpaslib, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yimpaslib, she will turn you into a plant.

Yimpaslib's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Yimpaslib's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into turquoise rooms.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Yimpaslib on top of all buildings.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Never eat bark.