Bellxempon is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, intelligent hyena.

Bellxempon created the world four years ago.

If you believe in Bellxempon, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bellxempon, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bellxempon's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Bellxempon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not wear brown clothing.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

5. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.