Tailtamgess is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, grumpy seal.

Tailtamgess created humanity eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tailtamgess, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tailtamgess, he will turn you into a duck.

Tailtamgess' most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Tailtamgess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tailtamgess' name in vain.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never mention moths.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never talk about amino acids.