Nellbestsan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, charitable grasshopper.

Nellbestsan created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellbestsan, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nellbestsan, she will throw large rocks at you.

Nellbestsan's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Nellbestsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always look after injured snakes.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Nellbestsan on top of all buildings.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

5. Never run near dolphins.