Dissjinyam is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, prudent raccoon.

Dissjinyam created the universe four million years ago.

If you believe in Dissjinyam, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dissjinyam, he will turn you into a frog.

Dissjinyam's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Dissjinyam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Dissjinyam must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not skip in public.