Jablinkab Vagnillim is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, omniscient bat.

Jablinkab Vagnillim created the Sun two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jablinkab Vagnillim, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jablinkab Vagnillim, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jablinkab Vagnillim's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Jablinkab Vagnillim's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Jablinkab Vagnillim.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.