Quillyakzan is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, merciless fly.

Quillyakzan created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quillyakzan, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quillyakzan, he will turn you into a tree.

Quillyakzan's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Quillyakzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never skip near gulls.

5. Never paint your face red.