Sangenmummet is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, egotistical shark.

Sangenmummet created the world two million years ago.

If you believe in Sangenmummet, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sangenmummet, she will ignore you.

Sangenmummet's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Sangenmummet's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not speak about nuts.