Cusslarpved is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-assured skunk.

Cusslarpved created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cusslarpved, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cusslarpved, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cusslarpved's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Cusslarpved's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise shoes.

2. Always treat cats with great respect.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cusslarpved.