Tofbiffit is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, astonishing ant.

Tofbiffit created a strange quark two years ago.

If you believe in Tofbiffit, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tofbiffit, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tofbiffit's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Tofbiffit's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Erect eight tin sculptures of Tofbiffit on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about otters.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.