Wikpigcem is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, tranquil chinchilla.

Wikpigcem created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikpigcem, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wikpigcem, it will be very sad.

Wikpigcem's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Wikpigcem's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Wikpigcem loves snails, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.