Cutlatkik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, resourceful octopus.

Cutlatkik created the Andromeda Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cutlatkik, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cutlatkik, she will remove you from existence.

Cutlatkik's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Cutlatkik's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never mention mice.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Never eat bark.