Gedcarkam is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, bad-tempered wyrm.

Gedcarkam created silver nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedcarkam, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gedcarkam, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gedcarkam's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Gedcarkam's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear yellow.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Always help sick whales.

5. Never sit in holy places.