Tailgovsugkinloop is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, generous hedgehog.

Tailgovsugkinloop created carbon two million years ago.

If you believe in Tailgovsugkinloop, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tailgovsugkinloop, he will not invite you to parties.

Tailgovsugkinloop's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Tailgovsugkinloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Do not eat spinach.

5. Never run in the presence of tortoises.