Larnbadyak is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, moody snake.

Larnbadyak created an up quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnbadyak, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Larnbadyak, it will come to you in dreams.

Larnbadyak's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Larnbadyak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never feed wheat to monkeys while wearing cyan skirts.

4. You must never eat beans.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.