Wonhatsit is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, witless hippopotamus.

Wonhatsit created dark matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wonhatsit, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wonhatsit, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Wonhatsit's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Wonhatsit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always obey Wonhatsit's priests.

3. Wonhatsit loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.