Yoknatdotpodhin is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, self-assured zebra.

Yoknatdotpodhin created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Yoknatdotpodhin, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yoknatdotpodhin, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Yoknatdotpodhin's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Yoknatdotpodhin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never play with disobedient children.