Ponarmjen Stanfebarpbid is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, flying wren.

Ponarmjen Stanfebarpbid created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ponarmjen Stanfebarpbid, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ponarmjen Stanfebarpbid, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Ponarmjen Stanfebarpbid's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Ponarmjen Stanfebarpbid's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Ponarmjen Stanfebarpbid.

2. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

3. Ponarmjen Stanfebarpbid must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never think about asteroids.